Sometimes I just want to be irresponsible and do something spontaneous and crazy. Anxiety has kept me in a “safe zone” for so long, sometimes I just want to break out of it and run wild and free and do crazy stupid things. I picture myself running naked through the streets laughing my head off – but that’s just going to bring its own problems. So I did the next best thing; I got a dog. 

I had told myself I was done with dogs and I wanted to be free to travel, but then COVID hit. But even through COVID, when everyone and their uncle was getting a dog, I held strong. I was happy to not have one. 

And then came Peyton and his caterpillar. He found the dumb thing in our yard and became completely obsessed with it. He made a biodome for it and fed it and watered it and changed its leaves and cleaned its poop and was so attached to this thing that I found myself lying in bed at night worrying about the dumb thing when it cocooned for a month. (Spoiler alert – it never came out of its cocoon).

That was when I caved with the bird. My friend was rehoming her cockatiel and I figured, perfect. We can still travel, it’s not going to be a huge responsibility, the thing’s not going to cocoon, great. So we took the bird. The bird bonded with my oldest, but Peyton, not so much. 

Peyton asked for a fish, but I haven’t had good luck with fish. Before we had kids, Brad got me a Beta fish as a present and I put all sorts of little toys and decorations in his bowl and talked to him and cleaned his bowl like I was supposed to and the thing died within a month. Meanwhile, my friend had a Beta living in a margarita glass she never cleaned, and that thing lasted for years. So the fish was out. 

Peyton asked for a hamster, which I was open to, but still leery of. I have yet to meet a hamster who has died of old age. All my childhood hamsters met their maker through violent or traumatic deaths. One drowned in the toilet, one got lost in the heater vents and the other froze to death when I put it in its travel ball, brought it outside and forgot about him overnight. 

So I started looking at dogs – I knew I wanted another Rottweiler. Our last couple of dogs were labs and I just couldn’t stand the frenetic energy they had. They were good dogs, but it was like living with a cheerleader who wanted me to get excited about everything. I wanted the steady calm energy of a Rottweiler. I didn’t want to go to a breeder, I didn’t want a puppy, and second-hand Rotts who are good with kids are hard to come by. 

I had all but given up, but one day, on a lark, I checked the Rottweiler rescue page and I found the perfect dog. I called the woman who ran the program – she knew me well because we had been in touch about other dogs over the last 6 months – and she immediately told me she was mine. I could pick her up that day. I had already passed the background check so it was easy. We called the people who had her and were in the car within 20 minutes driving to get my dog.

I was so excited. I was finally doing something that didn’t make sense and that was just spur of the moment. We had no leash, no dog bed, no dog food or bowls, nothing. We just got in the car and drove. When we got there, she ran right up to me, leaned against me like Rottweilers do, and that was it. We were both in love. It was an easy decision. We put her in the car and she was family.

While she was at the shelter for the required waiting time for her owner to claim her, the shelter named her Sweetie because she’s just so darn sweet. I couldn’t have a Rottweiler named Sweetie because, well, she’s not a poodle. She already responded to Sweetie, so I needed something at least close to it. I named her Sweeny. 

Once we got Sweeny home, we noticed she was biting and licking her front paws. A lot. Like, I-don’t-want-a dog-with-a-bald-spot, a lot. We bought her a low-allergen food and that helped a little, but she was still licking her paws and drinking a lot of water – both signs of anxiety.  

I knew I could give her CBD, it had worked great for both Evan and me, so I tried it. I put some unflavored drops in her food and she stopped biting and licking.

Because Sweeny was stealing my CBD, and after the huge difference I saw in her, I added a pet line to our products. They’re organic, human grade unflavored CBD oils, but I wanted to do more than just create another dog product. In honor of what a blessing Sweeny has been to our lives and all the other dogs out there in need of a family, we donate to rescue organizations – one for one – to help calm their nerves and help them get through one of the hardest, most stressful times of their lives. 

I did something crazy and stupid. I wanted to be wild and free and now I have a dog who is needy and neurotic, my consummate shadow, and doesn’t even let me go to the bathroom by myself. But she’s mine and I understand her. We were meant to be. Usually having someone or something this anxious around me would trigger my anxiety just out of empathy, but she doesn’t. She brings me a sense of calm because it forces me out of my headspace. I have no idea what Sweeny’s story is, and I’ll never know. Maybe she was born anxious like I was. More than likely it was trauma induced. It doesn’t matter.

I’m in this with her for the long haul and no matter how much she’s convinced I’m going to escape through some mystical portal while I’m in the bathroom, I’m not going anywhere. 

Sweeny’s doing great with a daily dose of CBD and she’s melded into our family seamlessly. She definitely hasn’t been socialized so she has no idea how to play with other dogs and it’s kind of a weird ask to call someone up for a doggie playdate when you know your 80 lb Rott is going to pounce on their dog incessantly. Maybe we’ll find a socialization group for her. I don’t know. 

When we first got her, she had a pretty significant limp on her back right leg. X-rays showed nothing so we did a bout of acupuncture for her and between the acupuncture and the CBD, her limp is completely gone. She’s healthy and she’s happy.

l will say, she’s a nightmare in the car and we’re working on fixing that. But she’s sweet and wonderful and I have no idea why anyone would give a soul like her up.

If you’re looking for a new companion, I highly recommend getting a rescue animal. These animals shouldn’t be punished for their owner’s shortcomings. If you want a pure-bred dog, there are plenty of pure-bred rescue organizations out there who are working tirelessly to find homes for these dogs. It may take a little longer than just calling up a breeder and getting on a list, but I promise you, rescue dogs are the most loyal and rewarding dogs you will ever have.

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