The Science of Gratitude
WHAT IS GRATITUDE?
Often, when we’re chasing our goals, we’re focusing on the things we want, as in the things we don’t have. Gratitude is simply the act of being grateful, of being thankful and of recognizing what we have instead of what we don’t have. It refocuses us and puts us in a place of abundance and thankfulness and makes happiness a now, rather than somewhere in the future when we eventually attain our goals.
Gratitude is important in so many ways, but they’re not the ways you may think. Yes, gratitude feels good in the moment. It releases dopamine and serotonin, otherwise known as the “feel good” chemicals in the brain. So, feeling gratitude can make us feel better in the moment, but what’s even more important about gratitude, is it actually alters the structure of our brain.
Human beings are hardwired with something called negativity bias. It’s what’s kept us safe for millions of years. When we have a negative association with something, we remember it even more clearly than we do positive experiences or even recent experiences. It helped us when we had a bad reaction to some berries we ate. We didn’t forget what those berries looked like, and it kept us safe in the future. And yes, if you have a bad experience with an airline, you may not want to travel with them again – it saves you from future stress and possibly delayed flights or lost baggage. If you review your most memorable airline experience, more than likely, it won’t be all the times you got somewhere safely. The thing that will most likely stick out in your mind the most is going to be the time they bumped your flight or you had to sit on the tarmac for an hour before being cleared to leave or the time that person next to you decided to take their shoes and socks off and pick their toes next to you.
When our brains are already hardwired to remember the negative, it can be hard to focus on the positive, and in today’s world, negativity bias can hurt us more than help us. Having a more positive outlook on life and experiences leads to a better life lived. It leads to greater happiness and a greater sense of fulfillment in the life we are living. But it’s not just about your happiness either.
People are more motivated to complain about a bad experience and reach out to customer service about something negative that happened than they are to reach out about something positive. When we feel we’ve been wronged, it creates a fire inside us and we seek justice and compensation. But what if we took the time to reach out about the people who were kind to us or smiled at us?
When I was in college, I forgot to put our garbage can out. We lived down a somewhat long driveway and our garbage man actually got out of his truck, walked down our driveway, drug our can up to the street and emptied it for us. I was so grateful that I called their dispatcher and wanted to make sure that he had something positive on his record. She couldn’t understand why I was calling. She kept asking me what my complaint was. She thought I was upset he had gone onto our property. I told her, no, I’m grateful and I want that to go in his file because he went above and beyond. “So, you’re not calling to complain?” she asked in disbelief. She told me I was the first call they had ever received in the 5 years she worked there that was a thank you. This was a small town. I can promise you, there wasn’t more than one customer service representative working. In 5 years, she had never received a thank you call for one of her drivers.
It made me realize just how important my positive voice is when dealing with other people. From that point on, I made sure to write thank you notes and notes of praise when anyone went above and beyond what was expected of them. Later that year, I took a white water rafting trip and our guide was new and on probationary guiding. I was able to get onto the trip for free because she lacked experience. I had the best time on that trip. I wrote a letter to the owner of the company and when her parents were there for a visit, he called her into his office and had her parents join her and he read that letter out loud to her in front of her parents. She later told one of my friends it was one of the proudest moments of her life to be complemented like that in front of her parents. It meant the world to her. It took me maybe 30 minutes to write the email and I’m not going to say it changed her life, but I can tell you, it meant more to her than whatever I would have otherwise been doing with that 30 minutes it took me to write it.
Gratitude goes a long way. It builds relationships and networks. It gives people a sense of pride in what they’re doing and it reinforces good behavior. But there’s a selfish part to it too, there’s something in it for us as well.
HOW GRATITUDE CHANGES THE BRAIN
When we live in a state of gratefulness, when we actively practice gratitude as a mindset, it alters the structure of our brain. Our brains will travel the path of least resistance. The more neural pathways we have to a specific thought or emotion is going to create a default programing for our brain. According to the American Psychology Association, 43% of what we do on a daily basis is habit. They’re things we don’t even think about, we simply do them on autopilot. Things like drinking coffee in the morning or drinking wine at night, whether we exercise or not – they’re all habits. So is gratitude, and gratitude can be a powerful habit.
When our brains are already hardwired for negativity bias, it’s going to be our default pathway. We’re going to look for the negatives or the dangers, but when we train our brains to be more optimistic, that becomes a new pathway. The more we use that pathway in our brains, the deeper it becomes and the more pathways to that state are created. It’s like a rut in a dirt road that grabs your tires. People who express gratitude on a regular basis actually have more gray matter in the inferior temporal gyrus part of the brain. It literally grows that part of your brain (https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-gratitude/). Your brain becomes BIGGER with gratitude.
And it’s not just your brain that becomes bigger, your life becomes bigger. Not only does gratitude create neural connections to the bliss center, releasing dopamine and serotonin (the feel good chemicals in the brain), it also reduces fear and anxiety and moderates cortisol, the stress hormone. Gratitude leads to greater optimism, selflessness, spirituality, empathy and self-esteem, all of which are indicators of genuine happiness.
If that’s not enough to convince you, it also strengthens the immune system, improves blood pressure and cardiac functioning, decreases pain and leads to more alertness and better sleep. It leads to greater resilience to emotional setbacks and negative experiences. It also leads to better perspective in situations. “Significant studies over the years have established the fact that by practicing gratitude we can handle stress better than others. By merely acknowledging and appreciating the little things in life, we can rewire the brain to deal with the present circumstances with more awareness and broader perception” (https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-gratitude/).
Neuroplasticity and neurogenesis are fascinating topics. Our brains are often compared to a computer, but they’re so much more than that. A computer is built with a basic operating system and then we do software updates periodically, but you can’t change the internal wiring of a computer. What’s there is there. Our brains are completely different. Our brains can actually receive hardware and software updates. The more we use certain pathways, the deeper they become, but what’s really fascinating is as we use other pathways less, those pathways are then discarded in favor of newer, more frequently used ones. This happens on a daily basis as we go through life, but it’s also something that we can encourage and stimulate. We can choose to change our brains.
By consciously practicing gratitude everyday, we can help these neural pathways to strengthen themselves and ultimately create a permanent grateful and positive outlook on our lives.
WAYS TO PRACTICE GRATITUDE
You’ve probably heard of a gratitude journal, but it doesn’t have to be something so formal. It can simply be taking a moment out of your day to actually feel thankfulness for all the amazing things in your life. If you want to make a daily commitment to practicing gratitude, here are some ways you can do it. But it doesn’t have to be these. It can be anything that works for you. The importance is consistency, so your brain builds those new roads and actually uses them.
1. Gratitude Journal
A gratitude journal is where you write about all the people and things in life you are grateful for. You can set aside some time in the morning when you first wake up or in the evening as you’re winding down for the day. The importance part of this is consistency and committing to actually doing it, and it’s best to do it at the same time every day to help build the habit. It doesn’t have to be full sentences, it can just be bullet points where you list the things you are grateful for that day. It’s best to be as detailed as you can to really relive that feeling of gratitude. The great part about a gratitude journal, is when you’re having a hard day, you can go back and look at all the things you’re grateful for. It doesn’t have to be anything serious. Bullet points are great, so are stickers or colored pens to make it your own. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. You can use a spiral notebook, or you can get a pretty one that feels special. It doesn’t matter. It’s whatever works best for you.
2. Gratitude list
Much like the gratitude journal, the gratitude list will help you come face-to-face with your blessings. You can use pen and paper or you can put it on your phone so you always have it with you. Make a list of all those people who have supported you when you needed it the most. While you are writing, try to revert to the days and feel the thankfulness in your heart again. Once the list is made, look at it for 2 minutes daily and then just go about your day. Make sure to add new things to your list that you are grateful for as they come up.
3. Gratitude Meditation
Gratitude meditation is a simple grounding technique to align ourselves with the feeling of gratitude. During gratitude meditation, you can focus on your achievements, your talents, your blessings, your family and friends – whatever makes you feel joy and gratefulness for having it in your life. Gratitude meditation enhances perspective, clarifies vision, and frees us from the burden of stress and burnout almost immediately. It’s a five minute practice that can change your life. For a simple meditation technique, try this one.
4. Gratitude Jar
This one is great for those who are visual. All it takes is a glass jar and some paper. Everyday, take one piece of paper and write something you’re grateful for. It can be your family, good health, loving friends, your home, your character, it can simply be the ability to breath, which is a miracle in itself – anything that you felt joy towards that day. As the jar fills up, you will naturally feel more blessed. It’s a great visual gauge of all the blessings in your life.
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